What happens when God allows temptation?

It’s been some time since I have last written a blog post here. I am all about being real and vulnerable so let me be honest with you. I used to be someone that would isolate and allow the enemy to have such reign over my mind which would cause me to feel shame over things I was facing rather than embracing the freedom that God intended for me.

When the Lord brought me through healing from my two abortions, that was when I felt such full freedom in being vulnerable and real with others. This meant that no matter the sin, no matter the struggle, no matter the temptation, I was reaching out to the few godly women in my life who I could share the details with and ask for prayer.

But then something happened.

My post-abortive healing class ended in May and about a month later, I felt constant attacks and such oppression and I felt completely blind-sided by it. I have been facing this for over a month now and it really kept me from writing and sharing what was going on because me and God had to deal together. Me and God have had a lot of heart-to-heart conversations and I have had to really deal with some hard things. This leads me to what I felt God asking me to write about for this new blog post. Spiritual warfare. Temptations. Sin.

Let’s dig deep and talk about the spiritual warfare that surrounds us and some that we are not even aware of which can become more dangerous if we are not daily on our knees before Jesus. Spiritual warfare takes place because the enemy does not want anything good for you. Satan wants to take your joy, rob you of your peace, keep you entangled in that struggle and sin, and keep you from what God has designed for you. God came to give us life and life to the full. God has such good for our lives, He has purpose and he desires for us to walk in freedom and experience joy and peace.

When God carries us through something and we have overcome a sin, a past situation, or whatever it may be for you personally, we feel free, don’t we? We feel like we can handle anything that comes our way because we have experienced Jesus in a new way because of the way he has freed us and healed us. But what happens when we are faced with those same past temptations and same struggles? Is God allowing that? Are they attacks or is it God, or both? Those are questions that for me, over the past 5 weeks or so, have been going through my mind. I found myself face to face with past temptations and struggles that I really haven’t struggled with in so long and I was caught off guard. Now here is my answer to those questions; yes, they are attacks, but also yes God allowed them to come because he wanted to deal with more stuff that he knew I needed to work through.

Because here is the thing my friends, certain attacks will keep coming back to tempt us because in the past, essentially what we have done is we have just covered them with a bandaid and have not dealt with the root issues of why that sin was happening in the first place! God loves us so deeply and desires full freedom for our lives. If you are noticing the same patterns coming back to the surface, or old temptations causing havoc in your mind, struggles that you can’t seem to shake; DO NOT run from them only saying that the enemy is attacking you but instead RUN to Jesus and ask him what he is trying to speak into your life, ask him why he is allowing these things to come to the surface and then allow God to hold your hand and carry you through that so that he can get to the root stuff that we are so often unaware is even there. See, God knows us better than we know ourselves. Too many times we see what we want, but God sees what we need and much of the time God knows we need to deal with that root thing that keeps causing the problem so when the problem arises again, we understand why and can fight back with the tools that God has given us to say to the enemy, “NO! Not today! God has already won this battle and I am set free!”

God allows us to face the temptation and be in the middle of the battle because he loves us, wants to grow us, and wants us to experience the full freedom he desires for us. To do that, we have to bring our stuff into the light. When we do that, the enemy does not have a hold anymore. The power is broken by God’s light! Bringing it to God brings freedom and freedom releases shame.

Shame is not from God. Shame is from Satan. Conviction and grace is from God.

I have had so many days over the last 5 weeks where I have been faced with attack after attack and I have had to literally stop what I am doing, get on my knees with my bible out and say this exact thing, “Okay God. This is taking over my mind. This is something I cannot shake. This feels too much and I know that you are bringing this to the surface because you want to heal more layers and bring more freedom, so Lord, show me what I need to see.” I challenge you to pray that too. When the temptation comes, when the struggle comes, when that past thing tries to creep back in that you thought was behind you, I challenge you to look to Jesus with that and ask him how he wants to grow you.

Let’s be aware and ready for when God chooses to allow those attacks to come because he brings things to the surface not as a way to harm you, but as a way to bring you to a place of abundance so you can claim victory and reach the other side where that sin that once held you down has no more authority!

Romans 6:14 – Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.

Psalm 34:4-5 – I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.

 

Advertisements

Beauty in the silence.

There is such beauty that comes from being silent with the world and instead where we draw in closer to God to hear him, only him, speak into our hearts and into the places of our soul where it was crowded with such noise. We have to do this in our lives, especially if we are going through a time of healing. When we turn off the voices of social media, friends and family, and focus in on God and what he has to say, we will experience a deeper healing than we ever thought was possible. Let me make this personal for you so you can get a clear picture as to how God did this for me.

8 weeks. I had 8 weeks of complete silence from sharing anything with social media, friends, my community group at church, family and yes, even my husband. The 8 weeks was during my Forgiven and Set Free post-abortive healing class and as a way to experience the full freedom and healing that God had for me, I was advised against sharing my week-to-week classes with anyone other than God (being in class was different of course, we talked a LOT, but that was just necessary!) When I was told that this was going to be the case in my first class, I didn’t really think much of it. I thought that was fine and would be easy, because I was at a place of really wanting to hear God in new and deeper ways. But I truly had no idea at what this would REALLY look like; what God would actually reveal to me over the course of the next 8 weeks and how learning this lesson, this one crucial lesson, would forever change my life.

This is my journal entry from the following morning of my first post-abortive class, dated, April 5th, 2019.

“8 weeks. 8 weeks of just being still and silent before God. It’s going to be a time of healing and growth and I believe that it will be a turn around point in my life and walk with God; where such a divine transformation will take place that only God can do. This is where it all begins. I believe that this is where my season shifts into something that God wanted to do and now, He can. This has been a long road, a hard road and one that I would never trade for something more comfortable or easier. There is nothing quite like being close to Jesus — so much happens in that. I can feel God doing something in the midst of my heart that I could never even fathom on my own. It is going to be glorious.” 

I wrote this with a heart full of expectation that God was going to change it all for me. I felt the shift and I knew it was coming.

I can tell you this now, since those 8 have passed, that if I did not choose to silence myself from the world, and anyone close to me then God would not have been able to breakthrough into my life and heal such deep places in my soul. I know this because I CHOSE to lean fully into God and ONLY hear his voice. I chose to not share things with my husband, family, friends, church groups, social media, etc because I knew that God was going to do something beyond what I could ever try to create myself, and I did not want to miss out. Not on one thing. I was all in, ready, expectant, and I knew it would be a challenge and times and it was. Nothing is easy when we are in close relationship with God. But it is worth it.

Most Tuesday nights I would leave my post-abortive class, turn off the music in my car, turn off my phone so I would not be distracted, come home and go right to my room, and weep. I would do this week in and week out. Some weeks the tears were full of joy at all God had done for me, feeling completely overwhelmed at the truth that despite me choosing abortion for my two babies, his grace covered it ALL and he STILL loved me, forgave me, and that nothing I would ever do would change his love for me; that left me speechless, humbled and in tears.

But there were also some weeks that I would weep because of the deep pain in my heart as a result of both abortions. I wanted to hold my babies; I wanted to go back and just get my baby, take her home, and just hold her for a little bit. The reality of the abortions hit me and God brought so much to the surface because he wanted to HEAL me. But in doing that, pain became real, the abortions became real, and how the abortions affected EVERY area of my life became real and I just could not stop crying. Those were the weeks that I so desperately wanted to go to my husband and just talk. Instead, I started a new habit, and like I said earlier, one that would change my life forever. I went to God instead and cried to him, I mean the kind of weeping where I couldn’t catch my breath and my eyes were swollen and where I fell to my knees and could not get up because I just needed to be there with God, I needed to feel his arms around me; I needed my Daddy, my heavenly Father. Learning to go to God before anyone or anything else has been the most incredible, intimate, and has changed how I go about each and every problem or decision that is laid before me. 

Just because those 8 weeks are over does not mean my journey is over. It has only begun! God taught me so much in the beauty of the silence. Any time that I am faced with something, whether it be a problem, a thing in my own personal life, ANYTHING, I am now going right into the loving arms of God, seeking his word and his truth on the matter first and asking that he would speak into my heart and then, I go to my husband or family or whoever I need to, or before I make any decisions.

I also do this before I even sit down to write, or before I share any posts on social media about my abortions or anything else that God has put on my heart to write and share. I do not want to share anything with you all unless I know that God has led me to. I pray that my words and my posts that I share, are from God himself and that whatever I share with you all, would glorify God, would bring you closer to him, would shift the way you think and how you live life and would bring healing to any women out there who needs it.

God is always at work in our lives; in the seen and unseen. I can guarantee that he works in more of the unseen ways than we think and for us to really understand what he has for us, or for us to receive the full healing that God desires for our lives, we have to unplug, be silent to the world and go to him and only him to hear his voice.

Choose to go to God before anyone and anything else and I can promise you this; you will see change. You will experience healing. You will see things around you clearly. God will give you wisdom, his heart for others and his eyes for this broken world.

May God bless you and give you all your soul needs today.

  • Erika Lynn

Set Free: My abortion stories.

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord…” 2 Timothy 1:7-8

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”  Psalm 34:4-5

Before I begin to write here, I first and foremost give God all the glory for the work that he has done in my life, that only he could have done. He has used the last eight weeks as a place of deep healing to come forth and I am a changed, whole, new creation in him because of what he has done. I am humbled by his grace and love for me and I am so thankful that God has brought me to this place of being able to share something that is such a sensitive topic and one that is not talked nearly enough about. So, thank you Jesus for bringing me to this place. I pray that as I write, my words would not be my own, but that they would be from the lips of my heavenly Father and as you read this, that your heart would be touched in whatever way God wants to touch you today.

I have always loved being a Mom. From as young as I can remember, all I wanted to do in life was be a Mom and take care of other children. I have always been pro-life, and as I like to call it now, pro-love as well. The thought of abortion never crossed my mind and if I am honest with you, I had a lot of judgment towards women who would even contemplate abortion, let alone actually go forth with it. I felt all of this until I was face to face with these thoughts of my own when I was in the darkest, most painful time of my life. This is not the part of my story where I say that “my story begins” and that is because yes, it is the start to my story in how I will share it with you, but where my story really began comes a little later and I will explain why.

I went through one of the hardest seasons of my life back in 2015. It was a season of pain, brokenness, depression, fear, anger, and where I allowed the enemy to creep into my life and my heart in ways that entangled me and twisted everything I thought to have known.  I was broken and in my shame at that time, I chose to end the lives of two babies. My first abortion was May 8th, 2015, and I was 8 weeks along. I remember the period of my life that surrounded that day as this heavy fog and complete denial that I even chose to do that. I would often tell myself that I did not actually end the life of my baby because I only swallowed this pill that some nurse gave me at Planned Parenthood. I kept telling myself that I somehow, did the right thing. I had no idea what that first abortion would do to me, the mom of that unborn baby. I did not know that it would cause me to quickly send my world crumbling from under me because the depression and heaviness that came over me was too much to bear. I felt unworthy of anything good in life and I walked away from everyone and everything around me to only continue into the path of destruction laid before me. Then again, just a few months later, I was faced with a second pregnancy and because I was so entangled in this web of believing the lies that they enemy had over my life, I thought that maybe this was a good thing and even though deep down I was struggling silently with a depression that had such a tight grip on my heart and my mind, I continued on with the pregnancy thinking it would solve all of the other problems I felt.

But on November 20th, 2015, I walked into a Planned Parenthood clinic, with no knowledge of what would happen and completely alone, I had a surgical abortion done at 14 weeks. That day was a day of sheer trauma, darkness, sadness, tears, brokenness and regret. After I left the recovery room later that day, I drove home and wept. I never wanted to have the abortion, but I allowed the voices around me and the enemy to consume my thought process and I went ahead with it anyways.

Deep breath here. 

I know this is heavy. I know this is a lot to read about my life. But this is not even close to the beginning of what God wanted to do and is doing. I am getting there and it is life-changing, so hold on. God wants to speak into your life today, whether it is because you can relate and you have been silent and he wants you to speak up and find healing and freedom yourself, or God is wanting to speak into your heart in a different way. Keep reading.

My abortions caused me to shut down. Within hours of both abortions, I pushed it so far down and covered it up with layers and layers of “stuff” so that I could somehow, maybe, someday, make it seem as if they never happened. It caused such a deep depression in my life and shame took root in so many different forms in my life the months and years following and I never, ever really felt good enough; to myself, to others, to my kids, and especially to God. I walked through both of those abortions by myself and the trauma that I faced during those and following was too much to bear. I did not want to ever think about the abortions and I never wanted it to be apart of my story.

But God. He always has a different plan that we do. His desire is to use our brokenness, turn it into something beautiful (Isaiah 61), heal us, set us free from the bondage of sin and then use those painful stories as a way to bring him glory and for our good. This is where my story really begins. This is where God started doing a miraculous work in my heart and I am here today, sharing this with everyone, because God has done too much for me to stay quiet and because I know that what he has done for me, he wants to do for so many other women out there.

In the late Summer of 2018, God spoke into my heart abruptly. It was one of those moments where I was just going about my day and he stopped it all to speak to my heart. I knew that ABC Women’s Center of Middletown was going to be hosting a “Support after Abortion” training that would enable people who attended it to they themselves help with counseling other women who had abortions. God told me right then and there to go. So I did. I always had a heart for ABC Women’s Center because my Grandma Detzler, who passed away just two years prior to this, started the center almost thirty years ago.

I attended this training and as one of the leaders was speaking, I felt God’s hand on my right shoulder and he whispered in my ear, “My dear daughter, this is why you went through all of that. This is where I am leading you. It’s time.” I wept. I raised my hand and for the first time ever, EVER, I opened up my mouth and shared that I had an abortion. It was that day that God began shifting something in my heart towards what he had called me to do, even though at the time I had no idea how this was really going to un-fold.

I knew that ABC Women’s Center had a “Forgiven and Set Free” 8 week course for post-abortive women to find healing. I saw the posters and heard about it but I truly believed that I was okay. That maybe someone else needed it, but I did not. That is one of the things that abortion does to a woman, it tells her the lie that she is okay. For all those years, I convinced myself that I was fine.

January of 2019, I joined the post-abortive team at ABC Women’s Center and I was told that one of the requirements was to attend the “Forgiven and Set Free” courses. I thought that meant I would be able to shadow the class so I could eventually teach it myself, but God had way different plan. His plan was not to have me teach it but to have ME walk through the 8 week course myself. Just me. No one else. And 6 other amazing, godly women who either were teaching the class, or shadowing as post-abortive women themselves who already received healing.

Guys. THIS is where it ALL began! THIS is where God began to peel back the layers of shame, brokenness, fears, my lost identity, lies, and so much more. This is where God HEALED. MY. PAST. and BROKE. MY. SHAME. 

I spent 8 weeks walking through this “Forgiven and Set Free” class and to say that it was life-changing would be an understatement. Everything about the course was scripture based, which had me reading God’s truth and promises to me and for me every day, all day which was the very thing that began to change my pattern of thinking and how I saw myself, and how I saw my past, because I was reading what GOD SAYS about me. This revelation changed everything for me.

I wish I could somehow reach through this screen and look you in your eyes and with tears of joy and tell you how GOOD God is and how his grace changes everything. Nothing in my life is the same anymore. Everything from before this class, is behind me, and going forth I am now a new woman, one who is completely healed and restored. My depression is gone, my shame is gone, fears have been removed, chains broken, lies crushed. I am whole in Jesus. I am healed. 

I am set free.

As I write this, on May 15th 2019, God is launching me into what I know he has called me to do. My abortion stories are apart of me, are apart of his plan for me and I am full of anticipation and joy knowing that God is going to do amazing things as a result of the work he has done in my heart.

So to the ones reading this, I don’t know if you can relate because you had an abortion (or more than one!), or maybe you know someone who has had an abortion, or maybe you are that nurse or doctor who works at Planned Parenthood. I don’t know your story but what I do know is that if you can relate to what I have said then you know you are not alone. God wants healing for you. He wants you to experience the full freedom that I have. He does not want you to have to keep that secret anymore and God does not want you to share it as a way to hurt you, he wants you to share it as a way to heal you. 

Abortion hurts women. It is not God’s plan for us and my heart goes out to anyone out there who has made that choice to end their unborn babies life. You are deeply loved. You are seen and it is okay to grieve the loss of your baby/babies. There is no judgement from me, and certainly no judgement from God. He loves you more than you could ever understand.

I find peace knowing that both of my babies are in heaven with God, laughing and dancing around. I find peace knowing that God was there every step of the way and that he was there when both abortions took place. He never once left my side. One day, I will see my babies again. For now, I long for the day to be with them again and I will spend my time here on earth serving Jesus and using my story to reach other women and help them find healing and freedom in Jesus.

In Christ,

Erika

the girl in the lily field.

It was a warm spring day, a perfect blend of warmth and a coolness in the air, giving comfort to my soul as I stood in the middle of a field of lilies. There was so much white around me, blue skies above me, not a cloud in the way, sun shining off the lilies bringing beams of light that seemed as if it was connecting me right to heaven. I started running through the lilies to see how far they went, and it seemed as if the lilies covered miles and miles of land around me. I stopped running, looked up to heaven, with tears that filled my eyes and I lifted my hands up. There wasn’t a movement of the wind up until this point and as soon as my fingertips reached what I felt like was me touching the sky, wind came, and I knew it was God’s breath of life over me in that moment. I froze, with my hands still lifted high, I closed my eyes and allowed the breath of heaven to fill each part in my soul, each gap that may have been disconnected from Jesus, each part in my heart that was still broken, and in that moment, I was made whole.

This warm spring day didn’t really happen, not in reality at least. But it was a vision that Jesus gave me this week. A vision so clear that it might as well have really happened because as I was closing my eyes praying, I saw the vision and I felt removed from myself and placed in that moment; it felt so real in every capacity and when I opened my eyes I couldn’t help but cry. Tears of relief, tears of joy, tears of gratitude to a heavenly Father who has given me far more than I deserve. Tears because he gave me this vision as a clear sign that he has made me whole.

Whole.

I don’t think I have ever felt whole. I have been alive for just about 31 years and I have felt broken most of my life. As someone who deeply loves Jesus, I think it is almost this normal way of thinking to say that we are broken. We are in way, aren’t we though? We have so much stuff that we walk through, we have made broken choices in our past and we certainly are not perfect, and so it seems to make sense to say we are a broken people. We are broken, we are broken and messed up and we can’t seem to do this life thing the right way, and we can’t seem to get past the broken decisions of our past that seem to still haunt us, we are broken until we have an encounter with Jesus when he tells us that through him, and with him, we are made WHOLE. Jesus gives us a new self when we surrender our old self to him.  This can look different in different seasons of life that we walk through. When we first make that decision to follow Jesus, we are giving him that old self, and in saying that we want to follow him with our life, we are given a new self from Jesus. As we walk through life after that point and go through trials, losses, grief, sadness, unexpected moments, we are brought to a point when we realize that we are broken and therefore, need healing. When we bring this all to Jesus, he gives us healing in ways that he knows we need for that season of life and makes us whole.

31 years. 31 years of feeling broken in many different ways through the many different seasons of my life thus far. I have been a christian my entire life, but it hasn’t been until very recently in my life when I experienced Jesus in a new way that it brought such revelation to my life and changed my entire outlook on not just my own life, but in how I saw God. God wants to mold us into being like him. He will allow us to go through deep sorrow, experience immense joy and blessing, and everything in between, because if we allow him to, it will bring us closer to him and it will shape us into the very person that God created us to be well before we were even born. God desires to take the broken, shattered pieces of our past and replace it with something new and whole. I have this picture of a little kid breaking Grandma’s one hundred year old vase; you know what I am talking about because this always seems to happen as a kid when we go visit grandma’s house 🙂 When that one hundred year old vase breaks and shatters, because it is meaningful to Grandma, she may get out the hot glue gun and try to piece it back together, but how I picture it with God is that when we break and shatter that vase, he picks up all the broken pieces, tell us it’s okay and he’s got it, and he throws that away and gets out a brand new vase. Jesus has you. Jesus has your broken past. Jesus has carried you over his shoulder the whole way, even in the moments that you didn’t seem to see it that way. 

This vision God gave me of the girl in the lily field is one that I haven’t been able to get out of my mind. It is just there now. It is his reminder to me that he has made me whole. I am healed from my broken past. I am whole in him and even though I am still Erika, I am Erika; daughter of a heavenly father who has not once ever left my side, who has literally had to dig down deep into the hole that I was once in and lift me out, throw me over his shoulder, and carry me because I just could not stand anymore. I am whole because of him. I can look ahead to all of the unknowns of my future and smile, dance,  and run in the lily field because Jesus is there. There is freedom in that lily field. There is peace in the lily field, there is restoration, forgiveness, joy, redemption, purity, innocence, and hope. There is no fear of my future, there are no questions of worry or doubt because Jesus is in that lily field. Jesus has picked up all the broken pieces and has made me whole.

Friends, may you encounter Jesus in a deeper way today. May he give you a newness today that is refreshing for your soul. Whatever season of life that you are walking in, know that Jesus is walking it with you.

You are loved. Seen. Not alone. Brave. Strong.

You are healed. Forgiven. Set free. Made whole.

All in Him and because of Him.

 

Bless you,

Erika xo.

He’s seen in the unseen.

Do you ever find yourself feeling like God has forgotten you? That maybe he missed the mark with you? Recently my pastor at my church (Vox Church) shared an amazing message on the timeliness of God and how his plan goes beyond our perspective. There was a lot more to it than just that, but as I have been praying the last several days over what to write for my next blog post and after hearing the message Sunday, God spoke into my heart.

The last two days I have been asking God for a title to my blog. Perhaps that seems silly, but I don’t want to write on here unless I feel it is something specific that God has placed on my heart to share with you. This morning as I am getting dressed for the day, out of the blue God speaks so clearly; “I am seen in the unseen” – Wow God. WOW. What truth in that, and what a heavy statement of truth that is! I immediately stopped what I was doing and grabbed my pen and journal and wrote the title down.

God is all over our lives. He is in the details of the every day hustle and bustle that we so often overlook because we don’t take enough time to slow down, take a step back, and see what God is trying to show us. It looks different for each person, in each circumstance, in each day, doesn’t it? We don’t know what our day today is going to look like, we don’t know what tomorrow will bring, and we certainly don’t know what weeks and months and even years from now will look like. But we try so hard to plan out those weeks, months and years. We do everything we feel that we are supposed to do; we get that degree, we work hard to climb up the corporate ladder, we strive harder and harder as parents to be a better parent, we work 70+ hour weeks just to make sure we can stay afloat. We, as a people, like to have control. We have to have a plan and if we don’t have a plan then we are irresponsible. If we don’t have college funding set up for our kids then we are not good enough parents. If we can’t seem to pay that next bill, we have failed as a provider. Can you relate to this? But what happens my friends, when that diagnosis comes? When that home is now in foreclosure? When that job you worked so hard for, is suddenly lost? When your child walks away from the Lord? When your spouse betrays you? Or when you, yourself, feel pressed up against a wall with no way out, feeling alone and forgotten by the one person you thought would never leave you…God.

Friend, let me tell you that there is so much joy found knowing that Jesus is seen in the unseen. There is so much freedom and hope found when we surrender every plan, every desire, every lost dream, every hardship, every financial struggle, every. single. thing. that may try to cripple us in anxiety and fear to Jesus because we don’t have the control. He does. He has it all in his hands, he cares deeply for every single thing that we are facing or hoping for, and he will never, ever leave you and will never let you walk through the hardships of this life alone.

All of those things that I mentioned a couple paragraphs earlier? They are not bad things. It is good to be responsible in life with planning, saving, working hard at whatever job God has blessed you with, but as soon as we try to control every aspect of those things and forget the one who carries us, we lose sight of what really matters and what Jesus has called us to do. Then, when we are face to face with something that is out of our control, we find something else to grab onto, and this is where we lose hope because we have lost sight of him and it is when the enemy attacks the vulnerable places of our minds and hearts and we start to believe the lies that we are a failure or not good enough. These are lies, my friend, lies from the enemy to try and get you to continue to figure it out on your own because God must not love you if you are having to go through something so difficult. It’s quite the opposite actually, and my pastor mentioned that in his message on Sunday; God loves us so much that he knows what we need more than what we want. We may want to not go through that hardship, we may not want to have that diagnosis of cancer, we may not want to have to still be going through that struggle that has seemed to hold us down for so many years, but God knows what we need and he will often allow those hardships to enter into our lives because he knows we need them. We need the hardships to realize we need Jesus. When we are pressed with the unknowns of our future, the unanswered prayers, Jesus in all of his grace and love for us, brings us to a place where we realize we have no other option than to give it all to him and rely solely on him because he is faithful and he can be trusted. 

The hardships and trials that you are facing today, are not a surprise to God. He has been working behind the scenes of your day to day life for so long, and he still is. He has not forgotten you, he has been by your side the whole time! He is working out the details of your story in ways that even though you cannot see it yet, he will make it known to you when he knows it is best. God wants you to keep trusting him because he has something so incredible planned for your life, but he can only reveal that to you when we learn to fully surrender it all to him. Keep believing. Keep praying. Keep holding on. He is working it all out for you good and his glory.

He is seen in the unseen.

~ Erika Lynn

Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”

Hebrews 13:5 “Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for he said ‘I will never leave you or forsake you.'” 

John 16:33 “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

“God is never in a hurry. He spends years preparing those He plans to greatly use, and never thinks of the days of preparation as being too long or boring” -Streams in the Desert

meet me here.

Hey to all of you who decided to click on my blog link and give my new blog a read!

Before I jump into writing blog posts, I wanted to introduce myself so all readers out there are a little familiar with who I am and why I am doing this. First off, I am by no means a professional writer, or an author (not yet!), but I am passionate about writing and I am passionate about you.

My name is Erika and I am 30 years old (31 on April 17th!) and I am married to an amazing man who truly is someone that strives to be an example of Jesus to me. We have 5 kids, 4 of which are his step-kids and 1 that we have together. My kids range in ages 11-1 year old. I have always been a stay-at-home Mom and I am deeply passionate about that and being there for my sweet kids and raising them to love and know Jesus personally. I love all things running, Jesus, coffee, friends, community, my church family, adventure and time to just sit, read and write.

So, a little into why I decided to start a blog…

….I follow a few inspirational women on blogs who love Jesus, who usually have been through a thing or two, and who I look up to, even though I haven’t actually met them. I read their blogs from time to time because it lifts me up, encourages my heart, points me back to Jesus when I am struggling, and reading their blogs reminds me that I am not alone on this journey. It often gives me something to reflect on, to pray about, and to grow in with my relationship with Jesus, to grow in loving my husband better and it pushes me to grow more as a mother to my five children. This also is not my first time “trying” to start a blog, but I guess you can say that God was still working on certain things in my heart before really giving me that green light to write again. Sometimes that is life though. We believe that God has called us to do something and when we get to that place, God gently pulls us back and lets us know that it is not quite time yet. That is just all apart of our journey with God and learning to be more like him and grow closer to him. I am by no means to a place that I necessarily want to be, but I believe that God will always be showing me and teaching me things to continue to grow. I am work in progress, carried by his grace.

About three weeks ago, I felt God pushing me to  start writing again. There are so many ideas that he has given to me, however they are more dreams that are not quite reality yet. I felt starting a blog was the exact place that God wanted me in for right now so, here I am! My heart is for you. My heart is for you because I know that God’s heart is for you. I pray that my words can bring you closer to Jesus, encourage your walk with God, lift up your soul and bring joy to your day, and let you in on some things about me and some things that God has walked me through so that you too, know that you are not alone.

I know this blog won’t be for everyone.

But it will be for someone.

Thank you for deciding to read here and I hope you come back as I continue to write more that God puts on my heart.

With love, Erika xo.